I was struck more by how the policy decision was delivered than by its content. The words “mandate” and “ban” may not have been used, but it sure landed that way. And, I couldn’t help but wonder… what’s going on behind the scenes and did this have to be an either/or choice?..Read More
The “perfect” combo.
You want the truth? The truth is this: people who pride themselves on perfectionism fear that they are just the opposite ~ flawed, inadequate and not good enough. The perceived risk that, at any moment, our incompetency will be revealed to the world in humiliating fashion keeps us stuck in an obsessive loop of details, preventing us from seeing the bigger picture.
When we find ourselves leaving the land of the merely conscientious and venturing out to Planet Perfecto, these strategies help return my clients (and me) to sanity.
- Perfectionists believe they’ll be viewed as successful if they prove they can do it all when -again – quite the opposite is true. Just because you can do it all does not mean you should. Try a little trust.
- Procrastination: a sign of perfectionism gone mad. We are so afraid of failing, we cannot begin. Break the job down into manageable, doable parts. Be happy with small successes.
- The neighborhood of our own heads is dangerous, so avoid wandering around in there too long. Designate down time every day. Reach out to others for reality checks. Have some fun. (Not too much fun. What would people think?)
- When you make a mistake, berate yourself by all means. You’ll feel better. But put a 5-minute time limit on it. Then, start thinking about what mistakes can teach you.
- Do you ever find yourself engaged in this kind of delusional thinking?
- If I miss the deadline on this report, I’ll never be promoted
- If my direct report screws up, I’ll be fired
- If every word of this e-newletter is not exactly right, my readers will think I’m lazy and stupid.
Are these just terrible stories you are telling yourself? If so, then tell yourself a better story.
Finally, your definition of “good” is often someone else’s idea of “great”. If you are a perfectionist, guaranteed you are your own worst critic. Trust me.
There is a point at which “good enough” is good enough. And, sometimes, this is as good as it gets. And that’s just fine.